But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
