we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
