i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
