Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
