I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize