My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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