Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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