I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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