So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
