No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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