Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
