Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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