we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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