I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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