apparently the secret to your success is patron
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
