No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
