Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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