If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
This toilet bowl is my home.
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