do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
