Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
