OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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