Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
