In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
