just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
