At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
