Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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