We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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