She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize