The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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