R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Randomize
