K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
