He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
my poor anus
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
