Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
