At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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