You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
