so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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