I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize