Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Still dying that you shit outside
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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