i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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