just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
