The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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