I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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