D3 body, D1 cock
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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