out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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