yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
