maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
