Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wear drunk well.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
