You just made me feel so damn special
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
