She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
