My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
