Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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