I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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