you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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