I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
