This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me