I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.