I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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