don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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