Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
then he tried to convert me to islam
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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