My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I think i got beer on your cat.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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