marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
